This post is about something so very special it is "hard to put to paper" as that saying goes, But I am going to do my very best to capture it before I forget a single moment.
To begin, I must go back and describe a conversation Grammy & I had, two weeks ago before I can share the miracle I was recently given.
After believing, we were going to lose Grammy within days, we send out a request for individuals important to Grammy, or whom Grammy was important to them, to write her a letter or statement- a good bye letter of sorts. I had the opportunity to read a few to her, one being from my Brother Erik living currently in Spain. After reading his letter aloud to her, I ask her a question he had wanted her to answer. The question was, "What do you believe happens to us when we die?" (Side-note: I am sitting next to her bed, pen and paper in my lap with my ears perked, so not to miss a single word she is to say!~)
Grammy calmy states, "They wash the body, possibly dress them and transfer the body to the morgue". Caught off guard, It takes a few seconds to register, I drop the pen on my lap and begin to laugh out loud! Not exactly what I was expecting, but O so 100% Grammy! I shouldn't have expected anything more or less from a woman who was a nurse for nearly 50 years! So in a second attempt, to get something a bit more profound to relay back to Erik, I ask her, "Grammy, what do you believe happens to our Soul or Spirit when we die?" (Okay, now I think I have her with this one) Grammy replies, "Wouldn't you like to know, I will tell you if I can find a way?" Again a bit puzzled, I slump back in my chair, exhale and then smile. I ask her if she will promise me that. She simple smiles and says, "No, I cannot promise you, because I am unsure if I will be able to". I leaned in and we both shared a moment eye to eye.
Grammy didn't pass away as quickly as we had expected. She held on for another two weeks. I witnessed the natural withering away of a beautiful figure in my life. I say figure but I mean, she was like a statue, aways there, aways there-never changing, constant, unwavering, self assured, pragmatic, realistic, profoundly comfortable with who she was. She was amazing! I was honored to have shared the last few weeks with her. And as she passed on, I was so torn between being so happy for her, yet so sad for myself. I miss her terribly but the thankfulness I have for the long relationship I had with her as a grandaughter and later friends, far out ways my sadness. Period
She left us on Friday morning, June 17th at 8:50am. We, my Mom, Uncle Andy & I, made plans for a small memorial to take place a week from that coming Sunday (this weekend- June 26th) while cousins Josh & Sandra are in town, and do a larger service later in the Summer for more family and friends. So, that afternoon when picking up the kids from Daycare, I choose not to tell Madalynn that Grammy had died. I felt it would be better to explain it to her later, as it was closer to the time of the small memorial. I simple felt she could grasp the concept of her dying better while participating in the memorial rather than just blurting it out without an experience to go with it. She did know Grammy was dying and had said Goodbye earlier when we first thought Grammy was leaving us, but I hadn't been give her day by day details. She was told only what a 5 year old needed to know.
So- Now for the gift I received-
This Tuesday afternoon, I picked up the kids from daycare as I normally do, got them in the car and headed home: Radios on, kids were quite sitting in the back & my mind was off thinking about what to accomplish at home. (We were having family over for dinner and a few things had yet to get done) Then when we were within a few blocks of our house, Madalynn says to me, "Mommy, I just had a dream..." (In that spilt second before her next statement, I role my eyes and smiled because I knew she hadn't fallen a sleep within the 12 minutes she had been in the car- Even with her sitting behind me, I knew that was impossible. Plus, many times funny things come out of her 5 year old mouth, .....well not what comes next) Within the same breath, Madalynn goes on to say, "...I saw Grammy, and she is
younger (with a bit of excitement in her voice) and she wants me to tell you that she loves you". I bring the car to an easy stop at the stop sign. I look hazily out the font window & say to Madalynn, "Will you tell her, I love her too?" I cannot remember if I hear her say it or not, but She then tells me, "Grammy is in Heaven". And then as if she realise what she is saying, she asks me, "Did Grammy Die?" I say "Yes hunny, Grammy did die". After a long moment, I continue driving and looked strait head- more clearly than I have in years and I whispered, "Thank you".
She found a way- She did indeed!
God bless My Grammy Imogene and God blessed me with my sweet Madalynn Jami
"Sweet dreams Imogene- I love you" and I do not have the words to ever truly tell you how greatful I am for you and for this gift you have given me.
Today I took the kids to one of my favorite places to go when I was a child. We, Garren, Madalynn, Fergie May and our foster dog Chip and I took a hike in Pioneer Park in Princeton MN. It is just north of 95, passed the new round about and is nestled down along the Rum River. It truly isn't a park like you would first think when hearing the name, it is a walking trail (unpaved) that curved around and over little hills, marsh land, along the river and low land of dense Evergreen, Birch and Maple forest. This was a place I remember coming to as a child with my Mom Carol, Grammy Imogene, Brother Erik and various cousins. In the Summer and Fall we would walk the trails and in the Winter we would sled down the steep hill at the beginning of the trail. I had taken Grammy here about 5 years ago, at 93 and to my surprise was able to walk the trails. As a child and even on that most recent visit she would talk about the foliage, grasses and flowers. She was a nature lover tried and true! I am glad I took the kids here today and I, like Grammy, talked to the kids about all that surrounded us. I'm not sure who enjoyed themselves more- me, the kids or the dogs? We made it through the trails in one piece and without getting lost but we did trip a few times, got a few scratches and pumps, a few tears were shed and we left with two very wet and stinky dogs, but all in all it was a wonderful memories made! Thanks Mom and Grammy for introducing me to such a beautiful place~ a little piece of heaven right here on earth! 
